Howard Dean, who recently claimed to be a "metrosexual," changed his mind recently and decided that he is now officially Lucifer, Prince of Darkness.

He was quoted at a recent gathering in St. Louis, Missouri, saying, "I will lead you all into triumphant glory over the believers in God, and we will rule Heaven from Earth!" He also declared Dianne Feinstein to be his concubine and future mother of the coming horde of half-human and half-jackals who would begin the revolution and attempt to devour all Christians and gun-owners.

No word yet from the Howard Dean campaign on how he is going to fund the Apocalypse.