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PREAMBLE: " We the sensible
people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone
get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior,
and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves
and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try
one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional,
and other liberal bed-wetters.
We hold these truths to be self evident:
that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill
of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
AMENDMENT I: You do not have
the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
AMENDMENT II: You do not have
the right to never be offended. This country is based
on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not
just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel,
express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is
full of idiots, and probably always will be.
AMENDMENT III: You do not have
the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver
in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
AMENDMENT IV: You do not have
the right to free food and housing. Americans are the
most charitable people to be found, and will gladly
help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary
of subsidizing generation after generation of professional
couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation
of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
AMENDMENT V: You do not have
the right to free health care. That would be nice, but
from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested
in public health care.
AMENDMENT VI: You do not have
the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap,
rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the
electric chair.
AMENDMENT VII: You do not have
the right to the possessions of others. If you rob,
cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together
and lock you away in a place where you still won't have
the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
AMENDMENT VIII: You do not have
the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have
a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times,
but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities
of education and vocational training laid before you
to make yourself useful.
AMENDMENT IX: You do not have
the right to happiness. Being an American means that
you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the
way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over
abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who
were confused by the Bill of Rights.
AMENDMENT X: This is an English
speaking country. We don't care where you are from,
English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever
you came from!
AMENDMENT XI: You do not have
the right to change our country's history or heritage.
This country was founded on the belief in one true God.
And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any
religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear
of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of
our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable
with it, TOUGH!!! |
