6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony.

6:05 p.m. - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton

6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.

6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:00 p.m. - Tribute to France.

7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.

7:25 p.m. - Tribute to Germany.

7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)

8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop.

9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)

9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *

10:00.p.m. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins

10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.

10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'

10:30 p.m. - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.

10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations.

11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).

11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare Benefits workshop.

11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam' rally.

11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:00 p.m. - Nomination of democratic candidate.

Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the convention?