A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives
off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes
and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one
of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to
everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you
see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool
table -- whole!"
"Yeah,
that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats
everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay
for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays
his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again,
and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the
monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man
is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats
it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and
a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!" said
the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,"
replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but
ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures
everything first.
Thanks to Lisa for sending me this
gem... |